“Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” Is Shaping Up to Be a Critical Disaster

Tsing

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Reviewers haven't been kind on the final chapter of the Skywalker Saga. Following today's embargo lift, critics have called "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" a "galactic disappointment" (Gamespot), a "piece of junk" (Collider), a "defeat" (Polygon), and a "Force ghost version of a movie" (EW).

Some have gone as far as calling it the "worst 'Star Wars' movie ever" (Forbes), one that's "so bad it actually makes the trilogy worse" (Slate). Ironically, most of these critics hate Episode IX because it retcons parts of The Last Jedi. "The Rise of Skywalker" is currently rotten with a tomatometer score of 58%.

Instead of continuing down the path that Johnson set, Abrams swerves the franchise into yet another hard u-turn, cramming enough story for two movies into one, and largely acting like the previous film never happened--or actively retconning it. The result is a movie that feels less like the conclusion to a Star Wars trilogy, and more like the casualty of a behind-the-scenes battle between the visions of two diametrically opposed directors.
 
Instead of continuing down the path that Johnson set, Abrams swerves the franchise into yet another hard u-turn, cramming enough story for two movies into one, and largely acting like the previous film never happened--or actively retconning it. The result is a movie that feels less like the conclusion to a Star Wars trilogy, and more like the casualty of a behind-the-scenes battle between the visions of two diametrically opposed directors.

If that's the case I may actually enjoy it.
 
Maybe I'm an exception but someone else liking/disliking something has no effect on whether I will/won't consume it and most certainly has no effect on whether I'll like/dislike it.
 
If that's the case I may actually enjoy it.

The problem is that a ton of the movie is dedicated to damage control and retconning what Rian Johnson did in Episode 8. On top of that, the creative decisions for the parts of the movie that aren't dedicated to damage control are pretty awful on their own. It's a plot full of McGuffins and contrivances. Necessary exposition that's necessary for certain plot points isn't there. It was cut from the final film either for time and or pacing and the overly convoluted narrative suffers for it.

There are some good things in it, but most of it comes across as though it were fan-fiction. Virtually every leak or rumor that was reported has been confirmed as true by the media who have seen it at this point.
 
Wonder if a directors extended cut might help redeem it later on.
 
If that's the case I may actually enjoy it.

That's kinda what I was thinking. I don't know but I got a feeling the critics that are slamming this movie probably were the same ones fawning all over the place for the SJW packed previous movies that took a dump on the legacy of the greatest movie franchise in history.

If those same critics are now whining and crying, it might be because Abrams was able to take the politics and outright disrespect for the legacy out of this movie. The Mandalorian shows that somebody other than Lucas can make a great Star Wars movie when they're just concentrating on making a great story and not on trying to end all the social injustice in the world and shove their politics down our throats.

Fills me with hope this story does.... See what I did there?
 
That's kinda what I was thinking. I don't know but I got a feeling the critics that are slamming this movie probably were the same ones fawning all over the place for the SJW packed previous movies that took a dump on the legacy of the greatest movie franchise in history.

That's exactly who they are. However, I think Jar Jar Abrams and crew have outdone themselves this time around by making a movie that will appeal to almost no one.

If those same critics are now whining and crying, it might be because Abrams was able to take the politics and outright disrespect for the legacy out of this movie. The Mandalorian shows that somebody other than Lucas can make a great Star Wars movie when they're just concentrating on making a great story and not on trying to end all the social injustice in the world and shove their politics down our throats.

Fills me with hope this story does.... See what I did there?

I have zero confidence Jar Jar Abrams has the talent to pull off something that's faithful to the source material. How many times has he tried with Star Trek? Even if we grant him some credit for Episode 7, there is a lot wrong with that movie from a narrative perspective. I've already covered that in depth, so I won't do it again. Given the reshoots, multiple cuts, poor test screenings and even the shills dumping on this movie, I have zero faith that this is a good product.

Again, the leaks have been confirmed so what we know about the movie at this point is quite a lot and almost none of it good.

Kylo still doesn't ever win a fight.
Rey kicks Kylo's *** again......
Horses on a Star Destroyer for........................reasons.
Rey gets killed by Palpatine only to be resurrected via the power of love five minutes later by Kylo Ren who got yeeted into a pit at the start of the fight.
Kylo then dies.
Leia is a Jedi now and in a training flashback, kicks Luke's *** because they aren't done dumping on him.
Jar Jar Abrams rips himself off by having the Enterprise Star Destroyers come up out of the ocean with Death Star Lasers on them. Nevermind corrosion, water pressure or other pesky physics things. This lets us know that you can built an armada of ships and no legitimate government entity will ever find out.
Rey maroons herself on the same planet as Luke did for similar reasons, only to get a pep talk from Luke and then raise Luke's X-Wing out of the salt water and fly it to somewhere.
Multiple McGuffin devices have been confirmed. Sith finders are apparently a thing now.
New, ridiculous Force powers such as Force teleportation of objects.
Rey Takes the Skywalker name, Luke's house on Tatooine, BB-8 and his X-Wing at the end of the movie. She earned literally none of these things.
At the end of the movie she takes both Leia and Luke's sabers and tears them down to build her a new yellow saber because she's not done defiling the actual Skywalker legacy.
Background lesbian kiss to satisfy mandatory LGBTQRSTLEO+++ representational requirements.
Most of Luke and Anakin's scenes were cut from the film.
Han is now a Force Ghost. So having the Force powers is apparently now optional.
No explanation is given for Palpatine's miraculous survival of the Death Star Explosion or how the part of the throne room still exists.
The First Order and Palpatine's secret army by their powers combined equals the "Final Order." Sigh......I can't make this **** up.

I'm tired of typing this bullshit out. There is a lot more stupid **** in this movie. I'll add more later when the depression wears off.
 
That's exactly who they are. However, I think Jar Jar Abrams and crew have outdone themselves this time around by making a movie that will appeal to almost no one.



I have zero confidence Jar Jar Abrams has the talent to pull off something that's faithful to the source material. How many times has he tried with Star Trek? Even if we grant him some credit for Episode 7, there is a lot wrong with that movie from a narrative perspective. I've already covered that in depth, so I won't do it again. Given the reshoots, multiple cuts, poor test screenings and even the shills dumping on this movie, I have zero faith that this is a good product.

Again, the leaks have been confirmed so what we know about the movie at this point is quite a lot and almost none of it good.

Kylo still doesn't ever win a fight.
Rey kicks Kylo's *** again......
Horses on a Star Destroyer for........................reasons.
Rey gets killed by Palpatine only to be resurrected via the power of love five minutes later by Kylo Ren who got yeeted into a pit at the start of the fight.
Kylo then dies.
Leia is a Jedi now and in a training flashback, kicks Luke's *** because they aren't done dumping on him.
Jar Jar Abrams rips himself off by having the Enterprise Star Destroyers come up out of the ocean with Death Star Lasers on them. Nevermind corrosion, water pressure or other pesky physics things. This lets us know that you can built an armada of ships and no legitimate government entity will ever find out.
Rey maroons herself on the same planet as Luke did for similar reasons, only to get a pep talk from Luke and then raise Luke's X-Wing out of the salt water and fly it to somewhere.
Multiple McGuffin devices have been confirmed. Sith finders are apparently a thing now.
New, ridiculous Force powers such as Force teleportation of objects.
Rey Takes the Skywalker name, Luke's house on Tatooine, BB-8 and his X-Wing at the end of the movie. She earned literally none of these things.
At the end of the movie she takes both Leia and Luke's sabers and tears them down to build her a new yellow saber because she's not done defiling the actual Skywalker legacy.
Background lesbian kiss to satisfy mandatory LGBTQRSTLEO+++ representational requirements.
Most of Luke and Anakin's scenes were cut from the film.
Han is now a Force Ghost. So having the Force powers is apparently now optional.
No explanation is given for Palpatine's miraculous survival of the Death Star Explosion or how the part of the throne room still exists.
The First Order and Palpatine's secret army by their powers combined equals the "Final Order." Sigh......I can't make this **** up.

I'm tired of typing this bullshit out. There is a lot more stupid **** in this movie. I'll add more later when the depression wears off.
That's painful to read, can't imagine watching it.
Let's see if it makes money. Hoping it won't to be honest.
 
I remember reading those leaks months ago, and thinking "no way", but also searching my feelings and knowing it to be true.

Not seeing anything about the Matt Smith scene. Guess that got cut or was baseless to begin with.

As for the lack of explanation about Palpatine's survival - I wouldn't be surprised if we see that explained in the Mandalorian. You'd think it would be an important enough subject to reveal in the film itself, but J J knows better than us!
 
I sensed a great disturbance in the force....as if millions of voices were in rage as they left theaters.

I felt a great disturbance in the force. . . As if millions of dreams suddenly died in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happned.
 
That's exactly who they are. However, I think Jar Jar Abrams and crew have outdone themselves this time around by making a movie that will appeal to almost no one.



I have zero confidence Jar Jar Abrams has the talent to pull off something that's faithful to the source material. How many times has he tried with Star Trek? Even if we grant him some credit for Episode 7, there is a lot wrong with that movie from a narrative perspective. I've already covered that in depth, so I won't do it again. Given the reshoots, multiple cuts, poor test screenings and even the shills dumping on this movie, I have zero faith that this is a good product.

Again, the leaks have been confirmed so what we know about the movie at this point is quite a lot and almost none of it good.

Kylo still doesn't ever win a fight.
Rey kicks Kylo's *** again......
Horses on a Star Destroyer for........................reasons.
Rey gets killed by Palpatine only to be resurrected via the power of love five minutes later by Kylo Ren who got yeeted into a pit at the start of the fight.
Kylo then dies.
Leia is a Jedi now and in a training flashback, kicks Luke's *** because they aren't done dumping on him.
Jar Jar Abrams rips himself off by having the Enterprise Star Destroyers come up out of the ocean with Death Star Lasers on them. Nevermind corrosion, water pressure or other pesky physics things. This lets us know that you can built an armada of ships and no legitimate government entity will ever find out.
Rey maroons herself on the same planet as Luke did for similar reasons, only to get a pep talk from Luke and then raise Luke's X-Wing out of the salt water and fly it to somewhere.
Multiple McGuffin devices have been confirmed. Sith finders are apparently a thing now.
New, ridiculous Force powers such as Force teleportation of objects.
Rey Takes the Skywalker name, Luke's house on Tatooine, BB-8 and his X-Wing at the end of the movie. She earned literally none of these things.
At the end of the movie she takes both Leia and Luke's sabers and tears them down to build her a new yellow saber because she's not done defiling the actual Skywalker legacy.
Background lesbian kiss to satisfy mandatory LGBTQRSTLEO+++ representational requirements.
Most of Luke and Anakin's scenes were cut from the film.
Han is now a Force Ghost. So having the Force powers is apparently now optional.
No explanation is given for Palpatine's miraculous survival of the Death Star Explosion or how the part of the throne room still exists.
The First Order and Palpatine's secret army by their powers combined equals the "Final Order." Sigh......I can't make this **** up.

I'm tired of typing this bullshit out. There is a lot more stupid **** in this movie. I'll add more later when the depression wears off.

The leaks reads like ****ty fan fiction.

I'll never forgive Disney for just burning the "Legends" lore to the ground and then acting like there was nothing to work with. All they had to do was adapt the Thrawn trilogy, and people would be calling these movies brilliant.
 
I'll watch it regardless and then form my own opinion I suppose .. I remember the original trilogy ... and even a lot of the prequels .. but I don't recall much out of these latest 2 movies if that's any consolation :poop:
 
The leaks reads like ****ty fan fiction.

I'll never forgive Disney for just burning the "Legends" lore to the ground and then acting like there was nothing to work with. All they had to do was adapt the Thrawn trilogy, and people would be calling these movies brilliant.

It does read like fan fiction. That's been the whole problem. Jar Jar Abrams and crew at Lucasfilm in Kathleen Kennedy's all girl story group act like fans of the franchise, and maybe they are but that doesn't make them qualified to write for it. This last chapter sounds like it was written by the no talent hack who wrote Twilight. It's even got the crappy teen romance BS in it.

As for the Thrawn trilogy, it's good for the most part, but overrated. Jorus C'baoth wasn't that great a villain and Thrawn isn't really a villain either. The clone of Luke, referred to in the book as "Luuke Skywalker" actually comes from the same school of "not making any goddamn sense" that Episode 7's scene with Luke/Anakin's saber does. In the novel, the hand of Luke Skywalker and the saber was recovered by the Empire. The reason behind this is never made clear. The clone is commissioned by Jorus C'baoth and the reason isn't made entirely clear. It's only had a month of training if that, and shouldn't have posed a real threat to Luke, but for some reason it nearly bests him (plot armor) and of course, he has to be saved by Mara Jade. Yes, for some reason the man who confronted Darth Vader and won suddenly needs saving.

He can't deal with Jorus C'baoth either. Leia does that using Mara as a force meat suit. Mara Jade is a writer's pet in this book if I've ever seen one. In any case, the end chapters of the Last Command show a significant drop in quality compared to the previous books and frankly, its cringey at the end. It too reads like fan fiction. I'd have given it a pass if Luke did a ****ing thing in the climax of the book but he doesn't. He's basically furniture. He should have killed C'baoth and Mara should have killed the clone of Luke. That part at least had a point as her directive from Palpatine (that still lingered) was carried out and her hatred of Luke, died with that. I hated the end of that book for the same reason I hated Luke's depiction in the Last Jedi. He's rendered weak and ineffective for reasons that just don't make sense.

You have two climactic battles and Luke does basically **** all for both of them. Part of the reason why that doesn't work is because Leia, has little training and non of Luke's combat experience with the Force. Mara, although highly trained outside of the use of the Force, has about a tenth of his connection to the Force and certainly little experience with it. Basically, Luke is sidelined by a plot device (buzzing in his mind from the clone) and the victories from Mara Jade aren't really earned.

The difference is, there wasn't some BS woke agenda behind it. It's just bad writing. Some writer creates a character and obvious bias towards it shows. It's something that reeks of amateur hour and it shouldn't have happened. The end of the Last Command is inconsistent with the quality of the earlier books, and I don't know why. Typically, when you see this crap in fan fiction its because the usually male authors have some sort of sexual fixation on the female character they are writing about or created, and elevate them artificially when it isn't earned, nor necessary.

Of course, going the other way, while some writers rendered legacy characters ineffective or weak in the presence of newer characters, the reverse often happened as well. Luke was elevated to power levels in the EU that are staggering. I mean, he's no Rey, but the problem ended up being that he ended up being almost too powerful. It's the issue writers often have with Superman. While an average thug could get the drop on Batman or even get lucky enough to hurt him, Superman basically needs Darksied or other god like beings to fight. Anything short of that ends up being boring because we know the character is in zero danger. Worse yet, when they do kill off a character like that via something like Doomsday, its a problem because its obviously contrived as hell, thematically inconsistent and like Doomsday, done poorly.

The EU has some great stuff in it, but its a mixed bag for sure. There are some genuinely awful things in it that Disney was right to blow out of the airlock. It's the one decision Disney's made I largely agree with. Now, I think they should have sorted through it and pulled the best materials out of it to use for the new films. That would have worked, but they had to be very selective. A lot of that would have or should have come from Heir to the Empire, but it would have needed many changes to work on the big screen.
 
I'll watch it regardless and then form my own opinion I suppose .. I remember the original trilogy ... and even a lot of the prequels .. but I don't recall much out of these latest 2 movies if that's any consolation :poop:

That's absolutely fair. However, I had mixed feelings about Episode 7 and I hated Episode 8. Between that and the now confirmed leaks about the plot I'm just not interested in spending my own money to see it. I'll see it when it hits Disney plus or something like that. I certainly won't pay to see it at the theater. The only way I would is if I suddenly decided to become a movie critic. (Which, isn't likely.)
 
That's absolutely fair. However, I had mixed feelings about Episode 7 and I hated Episode 8. Between that and the now confirmed leaks about the plot I'm just not interested in spending my own money to see it. I'll see it when it hits Disney plus or something like that. I certainly won't pay to see it at the theater. The only way I would is if I suddenly decided to become a movie critic. (Which, isn't likely.)
oh, I won't go to the theater to watch it .. unless my daughter really wanted to go for the theater experience .. she's 11 .. but even then, probably not.
 
It does read like fan fiction. That's been the whole problem. Jar Jar Abrams and crew at Lucasfilm in Kathleen Kennedy's all girl story group act like fans of the franchise, and maybe they are but that doesn't make them qualified to write for it. This last chapter sounds like it was written by the no talent hack who wrote Twilight. It's even got the crappy teen romance BS in it.

As for the Thrawn trilogy, it's good for the most part, but overrated. Jorus C'baoth wasn't that great a villain and Thrawn isn't really a villain either. The clone of Luke, referred to in the book as "Luuke Skywalker" actually comes from the same school of "not making any goddamn sense" that Episode 7's scene with Luke/Anakin's saber does. In the novel, the hand of Luke Skywalker and the saber was recovered by the Empire. The reason behind this is never made clear. The clone is commissioned by Jorus C'baoth and the reason isn't made entirely clear. It's only had a month of training if that, and shouldn't have posed a real threat to Luke, but for some reason it nearly bests him (plot armor) and of course, he has to be saved by Mara Jade. Yes, for some reason the man who confronted Darth Vader and won suddenly needs saving.

He can't deal with Jorus C'baoth either. Leia does that using Mara as a force meat suit. Mara Jade is a writer's pet in this book if I've ever seen one. In any case, the end chapters of the Last Command show a significant drop in quality compared to the previous books and frankly, its cringey at the end. It too reads like fan fiction. I'd have given it a pass if Luke did a ****ing thing in the climax of the book but he doesn't. He's basically furniture. He should have killed C'baoth and Mara should have killed the clone of Luke. That part at least had a point as her directive from Palpatine (that still lingered) was carried out and her hatred of Luke, died with that. I hated the end of that book for the same reason I hated Luke's depiction in the Last Jedi. He's rendered weak and ineffective for reasons that just don't make sense.

You have two climactic battles and Luke does basically **** all for both of them. Part of the reason why that doesn't work is because Leia, has little training and non of Luke's combat experience with the Force. Mara, although highly trained outside of the use of the Force, has about a tenth of his connection to the Force and certainly little experience with it. Basically, Luke is sidelined by a plot device (buzzing in his mind from the clone) and the victories from Mara Jade aren't really earned.

The difference is, there wasn't some BS woke agenda behind it. It's just bad writing. Some writer creates a character and obvious bias towards it shows. It's something that reeks of amateur hour and it shouldn't have happened. The end of the Last Command is inconsistent with the quality of the earlier books, and I don't know why. Typically, when you see this crap in fan fiction its because the usually male authors have some sort of sexual fixation on the female character they are writing about or created, and elevate them artificially when it isn't earned, nor necessary.

Of course, going the other way, while some writers rendered legacy characters ineffective or weak in the presence of newer characters, the reverse often happened as well. Luke was elevated to power levels in the EU that are staggering. I mean, he's no Rey, but the problem ended up being that he ended up being almost too powerful. It's the issue writers often have with Superman. While an average thug could get the drop on Batman or even get lucky enough to hurt him, Superman basically needs Darksied or other god like beings to fight. Anything short of that ends up being boring because we know the character is in zero danger. Worse yet, when they do kill off a character like that via something like Doomsday, its a problem because its obviously contrived as hell, thematically inconsistent and like Doomsday, done poorly.

The EU has some great stuff in it, but its a mixed bag for sure. There are some genuinely awful things in it that Disney was right to blow out of the airlock. It's the one decision Disney's made I largely agree with. Now, I think they should have sorted through it and pulled the best materials out of it to use for the new films. That would have worked, but they had to be very selective. A lot of that would have or should have come from Heir to the Empire, but it would have needed many changes to work on the big screen.

I can't disagree with your assessment, but I'll take the inconsistent quality of the EU over 7, 8, and now 9 purely on the fact that at least it seemed to largely be consistent with the Star Wars universe and story.

I have such a hard time, for example, believing that a post war Republic would just not notice The First Order, or that it would fail to notice a Planet Sized Deathstar that can shoot multiple planet destroying lasers at the same time through ****ing hyperspace? How do you even miss that? There are enough spies in the Galaxy that Rei can't eat at a Space Denny's without people finding out where she is, and the entire New Republic just missed the Death Planet and all the Star Destroyers being built 30 years after a Galaxy wide war?

Or the "Resistance" uses bombers that literally drop bombs in space? Over a space ship? What?

I could go on about this **** forever.
 
I can't disagree with your assessment, but I'll take the inconsistent quality of the EU over 7, 8, and now 9 purely on the fact that at least it seemed to largely be consistent with the Star Wars universe and story.

I have such a hard time, for example, believing that a post war Republic would just not notice The First Order, or that it would fail to notice a Planet Sized Deathstar that can shoot multiple planet destroying lasers at the same time through ****ing hyperspace? How do you even miss that? There are enough spies in the Galaxy that Rei can't eat at a Space Denny's without people finding out where she is, and the entire New Republic just missed the Death Planet and all the Star Destroyers being built 30 years after a Galaxy wide war?

Or the "Resistance" uses bombers that literally drop bombs in space? Over a space ship? What?

I could go on about this **** forever.

I agree with you and even with the flaws in the EU, I'd take almost all of it over these latest films. The one exception is the Yuuzhan Vong bullshit. It didn't feel thematically consistent with Star Wars in general. I hated that stuff.
 
That's exactly who they are. However, I think Jar Jar Abrams and crew have outdone themselves this time around by making a movie that will appeal to almost no one.



I have zero confidence Jar Jar Abrams has the talent to pull off something that's faithful to the source material. How many times has he tried with Star Trek? Even if we grant him some credit for Episode 7, there is a lot wrong with that movie from a narrative perspective. I've already covered that in depth, so I won't do it again. Given the reshoots, multiple cuts, poor test screenings and even the shills dumping on this movie, I have zero faith that this is a good product.

Again, the leaks have been confirmed so what we know about the movie at this point is quite a lot and almost none of it good.

Kylo still doesn't ever win a fight.
Rey kicks Kylo's *** again......
Horses on a Star Destroyer for........................reasons.
Rey gets killed by Palpatine only to be resurrected via the power of love five minutes later by Kylo Ren who got yeeted into a pit at the start of the fight.
Kylo then dies.
Leia is a Jedi now and in a training flashback, kicks Luke's *** because they aren't done dumping on him.
Jar Jar Abrams rips himself off by having the Enterprise Star Destroyers come up out of the ocean with Death Star Lasers on them. Nevermind corrosion, water pressure or other pesky physics things. This lets us know that you can built an armada of ships and no legitimate government entity will ever find out.
Rey maroons herself on the same planet as Luke did for similar reasons, only to get a pep talk from Luke and then raise Luke's X-Wing out of the salt water and fly it to somewhere.
Multiple McGuffin devices have been confirmed. Sith finders are apparently a thing now.
New, ridiculous Force powers such as Force teleportation of objects.
Rey Takes the Skywalker name, Luke's house on Tatooine, BB-8 and his X-Wing at the end of the movie. She earned literally none of these things.
At the end of the movie she takes both Leia and Luke's sabers and tears them down to build her a new yellow saber because she's not done defiling the actual Skywalker legacy.
Background lesbian kiss to satisfy mandatory LGBTQRSTLEO+++ representational requirements.
Most of Luke and Anakin's scenes were cut from the film.
Han is now a Force Ghost. So having the Force powers is apparently now optional.
No explanation is given for Palpatine's miraculous survival of the Death Star Explosion or how the part of the throne room still exists.
The First Order and Palpatine's secret army by their powers combined equals the "Final Order." Sigh......I can't make this **** up.

I'm tired of typing this bullshit out. There is a lot more stupid **** in this movie. I'll add more later when the depression wears off.

That completely sucks. So much for my good feeling. Guess I'll be waiting til it hits Disney +.... Definitely won't be buying tickets for this SJW BS
 
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